Little One / by Yessenia Funes

Oh little one I don't yet know
I wonder of the toes you’ll someday grow
And I ponder upon the faces you’ll make
When you sneeze a little sneeze
And breathe a little breath

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I wonder if I’ll ever get to know
My uterus has never supported life
My breasts know nothing of swollen gripes
The thought of you feels so surreal
I know I have eggs
But what will they reveal?

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I wonder if I should let you grow
The autumn leaves are crumbling before they turn brown
Fall has barely been felt before winter rolls around
Even then, the snow that lands it melts before it hits the ground
As for spring? The flowers are confused
They sprout before the dirt is ready to be used
Everything feels so out of whack
Our planet, how is it still intact?

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I worry I’m selfish for longing for you so
There’s little I know for certain
But I’m certain about you
I want to know what motherhood is
I want to feel it inside me, too
But what about you and what you’ll feel
Especially when you grow up
And see the mess we adults have failed to clear

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I wonder if you’ll get to see the creatures beyond our windows
The squirrels and the birds,
I imagine they’ll still be there
But what of the endangered Javan rhino
Or the starving polar bear?
People go whale watching in the times of today
But so many of these marine species are dying
Will they have a chance to stay so you can watch them play?

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I worry
I wonder
I feel so miserable
The world is warming
And our climate is changing
Animals are dying
And our leaders, well, they’re crazy
Some deny that this is even happening
Others want to leave it to God
As if that’ll fix anything

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I don’t know if I’ll be able to let this go
It’s not just the animals
It’s the air
It’s the water
It’s everything for which I love and care
Will the world be habitable when you grow up?
Will refugees be escaping their homes that are all burnt up?
Will island vacations even be a thing?
Or will drought take over? Will we have water running out of our sinks?

Oh little one I don’t yet know
This isn’t a movie
This isn’t a show
This is our reality
The one I’m stuck in
The one where I don’t have to be alone

Oh little one I don’t yet know
I miss you already
I feel you in my bones