Reasons by Yessenia Funes

They say everything happens for a reason
The trees that fall
The hearts that break
The hands that let go
And the cold sweats that wake

But the reasons aren't always clear
Will I know soon?
Will the 'reason' ever appear?

A lot goes unnoticed
But the pain never hides
The confusion remains unspoken
At least the truth will find a light

A stirring sits inside me
Waiting to hear from him again
If everything happens for a reason
Is there reason to pretend?

My heart vibrates, newly electrified
With memories it's suppressed
Why do I feel a yearning trying to break through my chest?
My palms shaking as I re-read
And re-read
And re-read
His poetic mess

None of this makes sense

When heartache goes ignored,
When silence envelopes the giant sequoia tumbling in the forest,
When the tears fall but no one's there to notice,
When a police kills a woman but no one says her name,
It's hard to know or remember it happened
Until it resurfaces again

But even then
For what?
What reason is there for this to happen?
If everything happens for a reason,
Why is my psyche relapsing?

"Fix this," "fix that"
"Take it all back"

So that the stars may align like they used to
And they can guide you back to him
Back to the place where it all began
Beneath a blood moon that glowed red with passion

If everything happens for a reason
What's the reason for the end?
If we sit in corners of other people's hearts
Does that mean they may still let us in?

Inside by Yessenia Funes

I feel a swelling
Inside my chest
A pounding
So deep
I can't digest

Why it never goes away
Why things stay The same

I look up and
Another headline to read
Another hashtag to scream
Another human for whom to grieve

Everyone feels
The same
That feeling of
Hopelessness and
Of confusion

How am I
Supposed to deal
When those around me
Are blind
To the realities
That follow me
And him
And her
And us

The realities of being woke
And seeing
What cannot be unseen

The reality of liberty
Of freedom and justice
Of misery
And hands tied behind our backs
One foot to our throats
The other pinning our arms

No getting away
From the American dream
The one we see
Slipping away
More and more
Every day

The one we realize
Was never ours anyway

And with its fleeting farewell
That feeling—
The one inside my chest—
It roars and grows
And blows through the nostrils of my nose
That flare
Wet with rage
And sorrow I can no longer contain

To be free?
That's not for you and me

I'm not Black
I'm Brown
But he
With beautiful Black skin
Are kin

My brother
My sister
A friend
A partner

I release
The sensation
Of melancholy
And deprivation

I breathe and I accept
What I cannot change and
I dare myself
To change what I can

I begin
By feeling

And believing that
This feeling will go away

It must
It must

It must